What Makes You Cool? (Hint: It’s Not In Your Headline)

A few weeks ago, I hosted a birthday party for a friend. As people were shuffling in, I overheard a conversation between a guy who runs a dental tourism company and a woman who teaches preschool.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I run a dental tourism company,” he replied. And you?

“Oh, I teach!” she said.

That was that. It was on to the finger foods and brighter horizons. But damn, that’s pretty boring. Helping little kids become happier is way more than just saying “I teach,” and “developing a smarter way for Americans to get dental care abroad” is really freaking cool. But neither of them actually said those things.

Websites and companies, like people, don’t tell us why they’re cool. And that’s pretty uncool.

Let’s look at some examples:

Ooo. I like happiness, but what do they really do? Is this an online course? A 1:1 session? And more than that, what do I get? What even is happiness anyway? (I’m getting a bit existential, and that’s never good.) What makes this program cool? Is it happiness courses that are fed to me in little spoonfuls? Is it a full-blown happiness program that helps me be the happiest girl in the sorority? Is it a baby happiness course that helps me redefine my purpose? I just want the truth, damnit!

Huh? What third dimension? How am I gonna’ add depth to my space? Bumblebee Spaces has an insanely cool offering, but their website makes it confusing. What does it even mean?

The thing that’s actually cool about Bumblebee Spaces it that they give you a grid that hooks up to your objects + your phone so you can literally call down your umbrella and the grid will work its magic to give it to you. So basically it turns your house into one of those giant claw games. Except you always win.

I am obsessed with the product above. It’s called MIRROR, and it’s a freaking mirror that lets you participate in workout classes FROM HOME. From your freaking mirror. That’s INSANELY COOL, but the headline doesn’t even get me a little bit excited. I don’t really care about the future of fitness. I do care about taking workout classes that I don’t have to leave my bedroom for.

I wish we could see a headline that says “JOIN A WORKOUT CLASS LED BY A TOP FITNESS EXPERT…FROM YOUR BEDROOM.” Or THE ONLY WORKOUT CLASS YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE HOME TO ENJOY.

Tell ’Em Why You’re Cool

So imagine what would happen if you entered the party and said, “I play with 3-year-olds until their moms get off work” or “I make tiny clothes for squirrel-photo-shoots” or “I paint dollhouses for adults.”

I don’t want to see what you do. I want to see what makes you cool. I don’t want you to hide from it. So here’s your homework, friends.

Write out 100 ways that your product/service/job/whatever is cool. Email it to me at hello@telltellcopywriting.com, and then we can get you one step closer to an amazing headline.

P.S. Full disclosure: I loveeee all the brands I mention here, so I want to remind all of the sweet ones out there that I am not hating on anyone’s product. In fact, I think ya’ll should go support them!